Love After Divorce

By: Ashley Marie


“Yes the heartbreak hurt but it will be okay once the swelling goes down” R’De

He told me he loved me, he promised me forever, he said that I was the only woman who truly understood him- whatever the fuck that meant. If all of that shit was true, why am I sitting here wanting to put a gun to my head and pull the trigger?

I was all dressed up in the pure white satin teddy that I’d spent hours looking for, my hair was curled to perfection and about an hour ago my face was beat to the Gawds. A part of me wanted to file a law suit against Apple, I felt like they were part of the blame for allowing his IPHONE to even pocket dial me in the first place. It is my damn birthday, there is no reason why I should be hearing my husband of the last eight years fucking a broad that didn’t even sound like she could speak English.

I was mortified but more than that I was fucking embarrassed, all of the women at the country club were going to make a mockery of this situation if news ever got out. I gave this man the best years of my life only for him to turn around and do some foul shit like this; and on my birthday at that. I willed myself to get up from the floor and at least sweep up the broken glass that was left behind as a result of me throwing the expensive bottle of untouched wine into the wall. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed the broom and dust pan. Carefully I began to pick up the sharp shards of glass, after they were safely discarded, I swept up the remainder and made a mental note to vacuum the area in the morning. The hurt brought out an evil side of me as I hoped that Rashaad came inside and cut his cheating ass foot off before I had a chance to.

When I was done with the shitty clean up job I made the decision to leave dinner on the table and the wine stain in the Persian rug.

Flipping the light off I dragged my as upstairs. I stopped inside of his study and snatched the bottle of Hennessy off of the bar area. I walked inside of my bedroom and stood in front of our full length mirror. I took a minute to look at myself and try to see what he saw -or did not see rather. My waist was still only twenty six inches- the same size it had been in college. My breast were a perky C cup and my ass to hip ratio has only gotten larger over the years. I worked out three times a week and supplemented one meal for a protein shake daily, I kept my hair done and had learned to apply my make-up flawlessly. I knew when to be clingy and when to give him his space; I was a lady in the street and an absolute freak in the bed. I listened to him when he was down and I helped him reach his dreams. I carried his children and nursed him through his short bout with Leukemia six years ago... I was the definition of a ride or die chick, was this how I was supposed to be treated?

Untwisting the cap on the Hennessy bottle, I took it straight to the head. The liquid burned my throat as a warm feeling came over my body. I let the tears fall as I walked over to the IPOD docking station and turned on Mary J. I listened along as she sang about not crying- the words hit home and gave me strength. I ran downstairs to grab the box of trash bags from broom closet, when I got back inside of our room I began to pull all of his clothing from the chest of drawers and throw them into the bags. I went into the closet and did the same with his expensive suits and designer shoes- I was finally finished; the disrespect was getting to be too much.

When I was satisfied with my work I dragged all of the bags downstairs and out onto the front lawn, I ran back inside and retrieved the bottle of Hennessey along with a lighter. I took another shot of the hot liquid and grimaced as it ran down my throat. Ripping the trash bags open, I use the Hennessy as an accelerant. Pouring it onto the clothing I saved a corner of the liquid for my oral consumption. I proceeded to kneel down and set fire to his shit, I watched as a small flame began to form, the color of the blaze mesmerized me as I watched it get bigger. Soon the flames were so high that the heat caused me to step back. I could hear my neighbor’s dogs barking and knew that they would be outside soon.

Taking one last look at my work I turned on my heel and walked back inside of my home. I closed the door and sat with my back against it as I finished off the rest of the alcohol. I was officially drunk and my head was spinning a bit. I stood up and staggered over to the downstairs bathroom to relieve my bladder, as I was washing my hands with the Cashmere Woods soap, I heard my door bell being rang repeatedly. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for whomever could be standing on the other side. Looking out of the peephole I saw that it was my neighbor and best- friend Jessica, I opened the door and waited for the lashing

“Have you lost your damn mind Reign? What is up with you? This isn’t Waiting to exhale and bitch your name is NOT Angela Bassett” she scolded me as I looked behind her to see the flames had taken over the shrubbery in the front of the house

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